Three and a Half.

Eli,

For the past month or so, any time someone asked how old you are, you’d reply “I’m Three and a Half!” with such gusto. And now, you truly are Three and a Half. I cannot believe it.


I really thought that by the time you turned Three and a Half, your baby brother would be here. But he’s turning out to be more like you than I thought. He’s still hanging out in my belly - and you’re beginning to wonder if he’ll ever come out. You asked me one day how he is going to come out of my belly, and I couldn’t think of a way to explain it to you - but before I could open my mouth, you asked, “Will they put a rope down your mouth to pull him out?!” I have no clue where that came from, but I LOVE the way you think, buddy.




This month, we’ve spent a lot of time counting. You count everything, over and over and over again. You love to read numbers off of signs and papers and the tv. You have mastered counting to 100, after just a couple of days of help from Mommy (and even then, only with the tens). I guess I don’t really know what to expect from a Three and a Half year old, but you continue to blow me away with everything you pick up, and how you pick it up so quickly.




You are also still very into spelling words. If we aren’t counting, we’re spelling. You’ve added a lot of words to your list of words you can spell this month, so many that I am not sure I could list them all here. You really test both Mommy and Daddy’s spelling abilities, because you’re constantly asking us how words are spelled...

Last month, we started the potty training process. It wasn’t going well, until all of a sudden! You went potty!! And then, you didn’t. One night, you decided that you wanted to go sit on the potty. So, Daddy took you in there, and I sat outside listening. I thought I heard that tell-tale noise,and then I heard you say, I did it!! We all were so excited, and you earned a prize (Squinkies! yay!). You did it a couple of more times that weekend, and I thought we had turned a corner in the whole process. But, Then, You just decided you weren’t going to do it again. It probably doesn’t help that I’m 9 months pregnant, either, because I can’t sit on the floor with you and wait and I’m just too tired to worry about it now. I am not sure when we’ll finally get it, but it has to be sometime before August, when you start preschool!





We were lucky enough to have visitors this month! Your cousin Gracie had a volleyball tournament here in Indianapolis, so she and Aunt Kelly were able to come and spend a little bit of time with us while they were here. We even headed downtown one morning to watch Gracie play! There is nothing I love more than watching you interact with your family. Those moments are too few and far between. We have to learn to cherish them when they do come...




We took you to your first official Easter Egg Hunt this year. You were so excited to go find your 10 eggs in our neighborhood park. You just couldn't wait to go pick them up and put them in your basket - until it was time to go. When they yelled "Go" you lost it. You just kept repeating, "I don't wanttttt toooooo," until we explained there would be candy involved. Then, you couldn't find your 10 eggs fast enough.

Well, Buster, This is definitely the last letter I will write you before Baby Brother joins us. These last few days are very bittersweet for Daddy and I. We are so excited to meet Baby Brother - and for you to finally meet him. But, I am also kind of sad, because soon our days will change, and it will no longer be the two of us. It will be hard at first, and it worries me how you’ll handle it (although, I am sure you’ll handle it like every other change you’ve encountered - like a champ). I just want you to know how special you are to me (and Daddy, too), and just how much I love you. There are no words to show just how proud I am of you. You will always be my baby, Eli. No matter how old, or how big you get.




I love you forever and ever,
Mommy

3 Years 3 Months

Eli,

You’ll learn as you get older that December is a crazy month. Shopping, decorating, baking, visiting, traveling. Busy. Crazy. It’s the most wonderful time of the year...

We took you to see your first movie in a theater this month. We’ve held off on it, because we just weren’t sure how things would go - but The Muppets came out and I just HAD to see it. It seemed like the perfect first movie for you, so we did it. We went to the first showing of the day. The previews kind of freaked you out, but once they were over and the Toy Story short was on, you were good. You loved snacking on the popcorn and jelly beans. You did a decent job of staying in your seat (for a 3 year old) and you really enjoyed the movie.

We took you to see Santa Claus again this year - and you handled it much better than you did last year, but not much. It took both Daddy and I getting up there on either side of Santa for you to even consider getting close to him. Luckily, we were the only ones there at the time, so we were able to take our time and let you warm up to the idea of sitting on a strange dude’s lap.

I'd say that one of your favorite gifts from Santa this year was your "Little Computer." You've loved having your own little electronic device to play with - one that I don't feel completely guilty about you playing with, either. At least while you're playing, you're learning something... Of course, we definitely limit your time with it, and I don't allow you to just sit around and play it. I am sure it will come in handy when we're in the hospital with the baby, though, because you'd play it all day if we'd let you.

After celebrating our own little family Christmas in our house, we loaded up the van and headed to Kansas City to spend some time with Mommy’s side of the family. We stayed with Aunt Kelly again, which you enjoyed VERY much. You’ve got the biggest crush on your cousin Gracie. It’s a good thing we know she’ll be visiting soon, because you may go through Gracie withdrawals.

After Kansas City, we drove to Abilene to spend time with Daddy’s side of the family. It was the first time you saw your Aunts since August. It definitely took you a few minutes to warm up to them again. You loved having your other cousins around to play with too - especially when Kasey let you watch her play Angry Birds.

The weather was so nice while we were back - a couple of days the temperature reached the 60’s. We took advantage of it and walked to the park a few times. Mommy enjoyed it just as much as you did - because WHOA did I need the exercise after all of the food we ate!

This Christmas we gave you a tricycle - but it wasn’t just ANY tricycle... it was the one that I grew up riding. My parents probably bought it for me in 1984 - the year we moved into the house that I grew up in. It’s been through a lot - including the fire at your Uncle Gary’s house - but it came through and now you’re able to ride it. Watching you ride it around your Mama Jo and Papa Po’s garage for the first time was such an amazing moment for me. It’s a link back to my past. A way for you to forever be connected to those memories of mine riding in my own garage and driveway, with my parents watching on. It connects you to them in a very tangible way. A memory I will forever cherish.

Just a couple of days ago I had you put your hand on my belly while your baby brother was doing lots of moving around. Your hand was right on top of a huge kick, so I asked if you felt it. Your eyes were pretty huge when you replied, “Yes!” When Daddy told you that it was a baby in my belly - your Baby Brother - you started jumping around the room saying, “My Baby Brother?!?!! I Just Can’t Believe It!!” over and over again. It was the first time you really acknowledged the fact that mommy has a baby in her belly. I was so relieved at that reaction - and you had a huge smile on your face when I had you feel him moving around again tonight. You’re going to LOVE being a big brother, Eli. You’re going to rock it.

I love you, little man.
Mommy

3 Years, 2 Months

Eli,

We’ve had lots of major things happen to our little family this month! First, Mommy and Daddy decided it was time to get a Mini-van. It wasn’t a decision that we came to lightly. I have always been very anti-mini-vans. But with adding another little one to the family, it just made sense. So, we did a little research and decided to go ahead and do it. We drove it home for Thanksgiving, and man, was it nice! So much room, we can comfortably carry everyone with us. I can’t believe how much I love this thing!

We were able to spend a whole week back home with family for Thanksgiving. We drove straight to Mama Jo and Papa Po’s house and spent a few days there. You loved everything about being there. You helped Mama Jo make pie. Papa Po tickled you and ate your ears. He even put you to work! You still ask me where Mama Jo and Papa Po's house is... You can't wait to go back for Christmas.

We spent Thanksgiving Day with Aunt Kelly, and we ate a lot of food. After fully stuffing ourselves, we took you to see the Plaza Lighting Ceremony. It’s a Kansas City Tradition that I absolutely love, and I was just certain that you’d love it too. Boy, was I wrong. The whole evening turned out to be a disaster. You had fallen asleep on the car ride down there, and you woke up grumpy. We learned quickly that grumpy Eli does not care too much for crowds or loud noises. Daddy ended up taking you off to the side, out of the crowd to try to calm you down, while I stayed with Aunt Kelly (that’s a whole other story). We eventually all met up again after the lights came on, the fireworks ended, and the crowds thinned out. You were pretty happy at that point, so we walked around for a few minutes to take in the sights. Next time? We’ll stand on a side street. Away from the noise.

   

We celebrated Mommy’s birthday in style this year - by heading downtown to the Children’s Museum. We finally got you to go on the carousel this time, and you LOVED it! I was so proud watching you ride around and around for the first time, and I was so excited when you said you wanted to ride it again. It brought tears to my eyes, seeing how happy you were.

Since it’s so close to Christmas, they’ve got a Winter Wonderland to play in and a Yule Slide to ride down. Mommy stood in line and rode down with you - it was a blast! I wasn’t sure how you’d handle it, because it was HUGE. But, you laughed the whole time and asked if Daddy would take you down again! We definitely have to go back before the holidays are over...

The biggest news this month is that we found out that you’re going to have a little brother! We haven’t really told you yet, because I am afraid to... I know you’ll be so excited that I’ll never hear the end of it. Although, maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing - perhaps it would distract you from your constant chorus of “Mommy, I’s HUNGRY.” Hrmmm.

You’re going to love being a big brother. Your little brother already loves you SO much, I just know it.

Love, 

Mommy

16 Weeks

16 weeks and I'm feeling much more human like. No major changes since last week. Still wiped out by the end of the day, but it has been a long week. 
The past couple of days, I've definitely felt the little one move around. It's funny, because I remember the big jabs and punches the most from Eli - these gentle tickles and flutters will soon be just as strong, so I'm trying to enjoy it while I can.

Compare this week!!

3 Years.

Eli,

Oh, how our lives changed Three Years Ago Today. I knew I loved you in those first moments that I saw you, but I never EVER knew that I could love you This Much, Eli. You bring so much joy to our lives. You have carried Mommy through many ups and downs, and I will forever be grateful for your little smile, and your giggles that melt my heart. Because. You? You are why Daddy and I are here.



For the past month, you’ve been so excited for your birthday to come. Aunt Stacia thought it would be fun for you countdown to your birthday by taking blocks off of your bookcase each night. We started at 21 days before, and each night before bedtime we took another block down. I can only imagine how excited you’ll be come Christmas...



We read lots of books, particularly before bedtime. Most nights you take on the role of negotiator. We start reading a few books, then we’ll change into our jammies and brush your teeth. Then, we usually tell you we can read One More Book. Most nights, you say, “Two more. Two more books.” Some nights, you say, “Three more. Ten more.” If it were up to you, we’d read every book in the house before bedtime. We’d definitely have to start your bedtime routine much earlier.

A couple of days ago, you told me that you were going to go upstairs and sit in your chair. I said, ok, let me come with you. You said that I had to stay downstairs, so I sat at the bottom of the stairs and listened. You picked up The Very Hungry Catepillar and started to read it to yourself... you read the entire book - and while you mixed up a few of the days, I sat downstairs completely stunned. When you were done, you came back downstairs and that was it. You’ve memorized many books and love to read them to us - but it never fails to amaze me.

This month, Mommy and Daddy celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary by taking you to see Yo Gabba Gabba, Live! We went last year for your birthday, and Daddy and I were so excited to get you there again this year. You were much more reserved this year. There were many moments where I thought I saw panic in your face - particularly after the opening number where they shot off the confetti cannons. You eventually warmed up and really enjoyed yourself. You still talk about the time we saw DJ Lance Rock and all of his friends.



Each Saturday, we get up and take Mommy’s picture, documenting how her belly grows. The past few weeks, as soon as I raise my shirt up, you run in and stand next to me and raise yours up as well - I LOVE it. Sadly, mine is the only one that’s getting bigger...



You’ve really enjoyed taking pictures yourself this month. We let you play with our little point and shoot camera, and the results are awesome. I love seeing the world through your eyes. Your toys, Mommy, Daddy, everything you love. I’ve flipped through the pictures several times, and they make me smile every time.



We took you bowling for the first time. We met with a bunch of our friends and just bowled for a couple of hours. It was so fun to watch you take the ball down to the lane and push it with all of your might towards the pins. You were so proud of yourself whenever you knocked down a pin (or more). We’ll definitely have to do it again soon.



Aunt Stacia came to visit you for your birthday this week. You’ve absolutely LOVED having her around. We took her to the park and the museum to see Big Bumblebee. You’re going to be broken hearted when she leaves on Monday - but thankfully Christmas is coming up soon. You’ll be so glad to see everyone then!



I cried last night, while putting you to bed. It seems that the change from being Two to being Three is a pretty big one. I can’t believe that when people ask me how old you are, I have to say Three. It’s so bittersweet, watching you grow up. I want you to stay my baby forever, but I know that isn’t possible. So, I guess I better just enjoy it while I can...



I love you, My Three Year Old Little Man.

Love,
Mommy

2 Years, 11 Months

Eli,

Whoa. Wait. Not possible. How is it that you’ll be THREE next month?? THREE.

We hit the State Fair early this month. You were So excited to see the animals. We fed a few of them - a couple of goats and a pig. While we were there, a storm rolled through and when it was all over and we were walking to the car to leave, we saw a rainbow. It was the highlight of your day! You still talk about the rainbow that went across the sky.



A few days later, we hopped on a plane and flew down to Texas for a little family time with Daddy’s side of the family. We spent time with your cousins Sean and Kasey, your Aunt Andra, Aunt Stacia, Uncle Tyler, and your Mama Jo and Papa Po. There is something so amazing about seeing you interact with your family. You’re old enough now that you know who they are, and you understand that there is a special connection there. I absolutely loved watching you with them all, and I cannot wait until we see them all again. It makes me wish that we were just a little closer to everyone.



While we were in Texas, we did a lot of fun stuff. The first day we were there, we went to the aquarium, where you saw Monkeys and Birds and Fish, Oh, My! I think you really enjoyed your time there. We also went to the Science and Nature Museum. There was a lot of hands on stuff for you there - I absolutely love watching to explore and learn from the world around you.



You’ve been really into helping Daddy with projects he’s had around the house. Any time you see Daddy working on something, you grab your tools and you’re right there to lend a hand. I think it’s the cutest thing ever, although I am not sure you’re really helping much. But, soon enough, you will be. You and Daddy, my handy men.



The biggest thing to happen to you this month is that we found out that you’re going to be a big brother. We’ve kept it a secret for almost 4 weeks, but have decided it’s time to share. We couldn’t be more excited - and though we haven’t really explained it to you, we know you’re going to make the best big brother ever. You’re going to be so happy - and the timing couldn’t be better. This little one is scheduled to arrive in the first half of April - which coincides with your 3 and a half year birthday. Pretty perfect, if you ask me.



You really are awesome, Eli.

Love you,
Mommy

2 Years, 9 Months

Eli

I’m not gonna lie, Eli. Mommy loves this time of year. Sure, I might complain about it being hot, but there is just so much more to do.



I signed you up for swim lessons this month. The first day it was storming terribly, so they had to move the lessons indoors. I knew when we first walked inside that it might be a rough morning. It was loud, oh. so. LOUD. and you were in a completely new environment. The lesson was slated to last for 30 minutes, and for the first half, you cried. You cried so hard, that you made other kids cry. I was so worried that I’d ruined you on the whole swimming thing. But, the next day, we were outside. and you had a blast.



Since those lessons, we’ve spent SO many hours at the pool. There were only a few days this month that we didn’t make it over there. I decided last week that I would start bringing your lifejacket (the one that you HATED so much last month) down with us. Honestly, it was mostly for my benefit. You’re heavy. Even in the buoyancy of the water. You LOVE the jacket now. And, last night, you decided that you didn’t need my help holding you up anymore. You swam the length of the pool several times. I swam along with you, of course. But you did it All By Yourself. Singing “I SWIMMIN” the whole way.



One Saturday afternoon, Daddy and I busted out the sidewalk chalk and let you go to town drawing on the driveway and garage floor. Most of what you drew were just scribbles. You drew a “cup” which was pretty interesting. But my favorite was the face you drew. You’ve drawn several faces since - some happy, some sad. Some were even crying, you said. But every single one is better than the last. You’re my little artist.



We took you to your first baseball game. Indianapolis has a Minor League team called the Indians. Their park is downtown, and there’s a pretty big lawn area where you can bring your blankets and a picnic basket and just chill while watching the game. A couple of your friends were there, and you all had so much fun running around. I can’t wait until you’re actually interested in the game. I have tons of good memories of going to baseball games as a kid.



This last weekend, we celebrated the 4th of July. Friday evening, some neighbors were outside shooting off fireworks. They were close enough and loud enough that they woke you up. The noise scared you, so we pulled you into the front bedroom and we sat in the window and watched. You were completely mesmerized. You kept saying they were awesome - and they were. They shot off a few bottle rockets in between, and I said something about how “that was weak.” You caught on, and if the firework didn’t meet your expectation, you’d say it was weak. Each evening over the weekend, you were lucky enough to get to see a few really awesome fireworks.

After you enjoyed those fireworks so much, Daddy and I decided that we would take you to your first Real fireworks show. Westfield’s show was July 3rd, so we kept you up late (waaaaay late) and headed out. It was a great show. But you were tired, and they were loud. I think you really did enjoy it, but there were a few times that you said you wanted to go home. Of course, that could have been the fact that you took a short nap, and you were already out 2 hours past your bedtime.



Last night, it was a very quiet night. None of the houses around us were firing anything off. But, not even 15 minutes after you went down, I heard you crying. I decided to go check on you, and sure enough, you were standing in your crib with huge tears running down your cheeks. I asked you what was wrong. You replied “Fireworks, I wanna go see them.”

Yes. I’d say you enjoyed them. So much so, I am wondering if we’ll ever get you back on a sleep schedule.

I love you, Buster,
Love, Mommy.

June 18th

One year ago today, we were packing to come home. Earlier that week, I had come to terms that seeing my mom that weekend would be the last time I would see her.

One year ago tonight, I was giving Eli a bath. I had just hung up the phone with my brother, and things weren’t looking good. But I was just sure that she would hold on just long enough for us to fly into Kansas City and get to the apartment. So I could say my last goodbyes.

Eli was still in the bath when the phone rang again. She was gone.

Over the last year, I have often wondered why it happened like that. We were going to be there in less than 24 hours. I have told myself many times that this is how it was supposed to be. That she didn’t want me to see her like that. And part of me is glad that it happened the way it did. But I will always wonder.

So much has happened over the last year. I have missed her voice dearly. I have missed her conversations, advice, and parenting. It’s a lonely feeling, no longer having your parents to share your life with.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them. I am so grateful for everything I was given when I was growing up. So lucky.

I love you, Mama.

2 Years, 7 Months

Elijah,

This month can be summed up in one word: Rain.

We’ve been stuck inside, trying to think of ways to pass the time that did not include watching TV. We play Big Truck. We Play Cars (on the coffee table, and on the kitchen floor). He have dance parties upstairs, and dance parties downstairs. We play with Play-doh. We play with Legos. We read A LOT of books. And, when we’re all out of ways to stay busy, we play Big Pillows.



On those handful of days where it didn’t rain, we spent time outside in the back yard. Mommy and Daddy are working hard on getting grass to grow back there this year. Regardless, you’ve LOVED running around back there. Your favorite activity is finding Big Rocks to throw into the puddles that have formed at the back of our property. “Where’s more Big Rocks, Mommy?” is all I hear while we’re back there. And believe me, until we get grass to come in a little more, there will be an abundance of Big Rocks to throw.



You’ve really started singing a lot over the last month. It started with Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star. One morning, you were finishing up your snack at the kitchen table, while I was in the family room cleaning. I stopped to hear you singing the first line of the song over and over again. It was the sweetest thing ever. A week or two later, you’re now singing your ABC’s. You’re doing a pretty good job of it, too. You’re learning the Itsy Bitsy Spider, as well as making up your own songs.



We’ve been working on shapes a little over the last few months. Your favorite shape to point out now is an octagon. We were shopping at Hobby Lobby earlier this month, and you kept saying, I see Octagon, Mommy?” I wasn’t sure what you were talking about, until I looked up and saw that at the end of each aisle, there’s a little stop sign. It blows me away, how smart you are.



We celebrated Easter very quietly this year. The Easter Bunny left you a nice little basket, and hid eggs throughout the first floor of the house. It was a lot of fun watching you run around to find them. You also REALLY enjoyed the candy that came inside. We don’t usually have many sweets in the house, so you haven’t really been exposed to them. BUT WHOA, did you make up for that on Easter. Jelly beans and M&M’s. You were wired for hours. I’m thankful that Halloween is still 5 months away.



I’ve been having a hard time over the last couple of weeks. I’ve been really missing my Mommy and Daddy. I sat here thinking about how when you lose your parents, you really lose a part of your history. You lose all of the little things. You lose the way it’s told. And then I realized that is exactly why I write these letters. I don’t want you to ever wonder about those little things - when you first started walking, when you first started talking. You may not think so now, or twenty years from now, but those things will be important. I want to make sure you have the best record you can, when I am no longer here to share those stories with you or your future family.



I love you bunches, Buster.
Love, Mommy.