One year ago today, we were packing to come home. Earlier that week, I had come to terms that seeing my mom that weekend would be the last time I would see her.
One year ago tonight, I was giving Eli a bath. I had just hung up the phone with my brother, and things weren’t looking good. But I was just sure that she would hold on just long enough for us to fly into Kansas City and get to the apartment. So I could say my last goodbyes.
Eli was still in the bath when the phone rang again. She was gone.
Over the last year, I have often wondered why it happened like that. We were going to be there in less than 24 hours. I have told myself many times that this is how it was supposed to be. That she didn’t want me to see her like that. And part of me is glad that it happened the way it did. But I will always wonder.
So much has happened over the last year. I have missed her voice dearly. I have missed her conversations, advice, and parenting. It’s a lonely feeling, no longer having your parents to share your life with.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them. I am so grateful for everything I was given when I was growing up. So lucky.
I love you, Mama.
No comments:
Post a Comment