EXACTLY!!!

Since none of you live in Indiana... you don't understand how much of a stink our adoption of daylight savings time has become. This guy, a reporter for the Indianapolis Star, has got it.

Well, it's been great knowing all of you. Goodbye.

No, I'm not giving up this plum columnist gig. You kidding? And go work for a living?

I'm just saying my farewells now, in expectation of the Apocalypse. You know, the one that will arrive early Sunday morning when we Hoosiers are forced to change our clocks.

This is the end. At least according to recent media reports. Cars will careen out of control. Trains literally won't run on time. Businesses will go bankrupt. Panic will rule.

Forget the Final Four. Sunday at 2 a.m. will be our Final Hour.

Good luck and good night.

I can see it, people racing into the streets, their arms waving helplessly and frantically as they cry and yell. "Save me!" they will plead. "I'm so confused. I don't know what time it is. I think I forgot to eat breakfast!"

Daylight-saving time? I think not. Sunday morning will be more like "Dawn of the Dead."

Or not.

Because maybe we're just being silly. Perhaps we should all acknowledge that so many arguments against DST portray mere inconveniences as potentially life-altering disasters.

For instance, I've heard from people who talk of relatives who already change their clocks, since they live in exotic places (such as Chicago or Cleveland). And, their clock-changing relatives report, it's just awful.

To such naysayers, I can only offer one piece of blunt but well-meaning advice.

Get over it.

On the list of Big Deals, daylight-saving time ranks near Jessica Simpson's marriage.

Seriously, get over it.

With thousands of visitors flooding our little metropolis for this weekend's Final Four, don't let them leave thinking we are obsessed with time -- or, more specifically, with remaining behind the times.

The decades-long griping about daylight-saving has been an exercise in exaggeration: People won't know how to reset their clocks! Later sunrises will leave us with dark and dangerous morning commutes!

Apparently Hoosiers have never reset their clocks after a power outage, or driven with their headlights on. Think about this: While sunrise will be pushed back until about 7:30 a.m. Monday, that's exactly what it was a few weeks ago.

We survived the first 7:30 a.m. Sunrise Disaster of 2006. We'll survive another.

But there's more. Bar owners complained that since time leaps forward at 2 a.m. Sunday, closing time was to arrive an hour early. This was so critical that the governor had to step in. Would it have been tragic, though, to not sell $250,000 worth of booze after 2 a.m.?

Drive-in theater owners, meantime, have moaned about later sunsets. I love drive-ins. I do. But should we really base state law on what time "Mission Impossible III" can start?

Of course not.

Let's all calm down. A time change is coming, so somehow we'll figure out how to reset our clocks. Sunrises will be later next week, so we'll just turn on our headlights.

Something tells me we will survive daylight-saving time. Just to be sure, though, I think I'll call my mom. I need to tell her goodbye.

Matthew Tully's column runs on Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Reach him at (317) 444-6033 or via e-mail at matthew.tully@indystar.com
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